Sex - Culture Failure

It seems to me, attitudes towards sex reflect the chasms which separate different individuals and different groups of people today. Sexual behaviour often reflects culture failure--the failure of one generation to transmit its rules, and the reasons behind those rules, to the next generation.

In the past, sex was one of those things God and the men who worked for Him tried to control, especially in women. "You may only have sex with people I approve of, and after seeking and receiving my blessing."

After many people abandoned their faith in God (usually cited as after World War I when millions of lives were sacrificed in His name), society began to question its blind faith in those leaders talking to God. In despair and feeling "lost," individuals often rebelled against the old ways. Many chose coupling/intercourse as a form of self-medication. These senses--of sex as reaction, sex as rebellion, sex as a path towards healing--are still present, although perhaps less acknowledged.

Thankfully, there seems to be less emphasis on sex as a reason to get married. You do hear fewer people saying "let's make babies." The excuses du jour seem to be "because sex is fun" and "because it feels good."

I feel as if I should be including words like "love," "communication," "pleasure" in here, but I don't want my outdated romantic notions to show. I do see somewhat less emphasis on the assumed coupling of sex and love. Sex no longer = love. Love no longer has to lead to sex. I do denounce the idea of sex as a power game. Remember that old wives' wisdom: Who's going to buy the cow if you give away the milk for free?

PS Cow/cattle imagery is important in EMBERS.

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EMBERS

EMBERS A self-published novel by j.m. bridgeman, EMBERS is the story of a few days in the life of Wyn McBride, a mature female artist who loves her career, her friends, her home, homes, in British Columbia, Canada. An opportunity to visit Ireland for the first time changes Wyn forever.

Title

Titles are so important. I'm happy with this one, EMBERS , especially with John O'Donohue's "embers of kinship" phrase, and also because it alludes to the title of a song on Jim Byrnes' Fresh Horses referenced in the story. My first working title was Clara . It is the name of a small town in Ireland. But there are many female characters in CanLit named Clara, and I wanted to avoid any unfortunate crossover. Also, to me, the book is not about Ireland. It is about what a Canadian woman learns about herself and her country while she is on a trip to Ireland. Another title was Accommodations because so many of Wyn's adventures take place in motel rooms and B&Bs. And I like the idea that, all her life, Wyn has attempted to accommodate herself and her life choices to address her often unconscious needs. I also toyed with Claritas , with Shine , and with Turning Into Light (from an Eastern poet, Hafiz). I was serious about this "writing ...

The Fire Within

The Fire Within One of my private passion pastimes is photography. I love the word origin--writing with light. I used to think that I was always trying to "capture the light." As if it is prey and I am the hunter. Or the quester. As if the light is magic. For me, the most obvious hiding place for light (and its brokenness, colour) is in flowers. There is a reason why I was called the "Flower Girl" in my family. Not only because I got to be in Auntie Olive's wedding party. Not only because I always brought bouquets into the house--buds, greenery, blossoms. I just love them. But I also see these "hot flower pics" as connected to the "embers" theme, because for sure, is not the fire here too, seeping out of the light at the flowers' cores? I heard that fire hidden in the seemingly cold cinders once described as "the mothering fire" and that is another subtext in this novel. Mothering. Kindling. Warmth. Love.

Embers - a novel by j.m. bridgeman

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